Good day everyone. I shall very much like to share another insight into the human psyche with you today. This stems from my personal observations, and study of the human nature.

You see, Humans are survivors by nature, as survival is our primal instinct. It is both a weakness, and a strength. However, survival mode is the lowest form of the human nature, as the highest being empathy.

Many individuals claim to be selfless, but they are not, because they are still living in survival mode. True selflessness is often difficult to attain, as it requires sacrifice, empathy, discipline, and total surrender to God.

A lot of individuals know this experience. They show up. They help. They support others quietly. No one really notices. Then one day, when they become useful, everything changes. Calls come in. Smiles appear. Suddenly, they matter.

Such experience makes one ask an honest question. If people only pay attention when they gain something, is selflessness even real?

Why This Happens

The truth is, most individuals do not act from pure kindness all the time. Life pressures, fear, ambition, and personal needs shape behavior. Attention often follows usefulness, not goodness.

This is not always because people are bad. Sometimes they are distracted. Sometimes they are self-focused. Sometimes they simply do not see value until circumstances change.

Still, it can hurt deeply. Jesus Christ in his last days, was denied by Peter, one of his disciples. Jesus Christ never held it against him, as he already forgave him before it happened. But does that make what he did any less of a betrayal?

Is Selflessness A Myth?

The million dollar question. In simple term, the answer is No. However, it is often misunderstood.

True selflessness means doing good without tying your worth to how people respond. It does not mean allowing yourself to be ignored, used, or taken for granted.

Many individuals give with silent expectations. They hope their kindness will be noticed later. When it is not, they feel betrayed. That pain does not mean giving was wrong. It means expectations were placed on human behavior that often fails.

When giving becomes unhealthy

There is a difference between kindness and self-neglect.

If you always give and never speak up, people may see you as a resource, not a person. Over time, they remember you only when they need something.

That is not true selflessness. That is losing yourself. Healthy giving includes limits. It includes knowing when to say no.

A Better Way to Give

Give because it aligns with who you are, not because you want validation. Help freely, not with resentment. Pay attention to who values you even when you have nothing to offer.

Not everyone will. And that is okay.

In Conclusion

Selflessness is not a myth, but it must be balanced with self-respect. You can be kind without being invisible. You can give without being used.

And when people ignore you until it benefits them, remember this: it reveals their character, not your value.

©️Victor E. Ojei, 2026.