Happiness Comes from Within, It’s Your Job, Not Someone Else’s.

/ Victor Ojei

List 30 things that make you happy.

Many individuals thinks happiness comes from others, or external forces such as, a partner, a job, or material things. However, what makes one happy might not be appealing to another. In other words happiness comes from within you. But what is this happiness exactly?

In my article “The Pursuit of Happiness,” I examined the concept of happiness. Happiness is a state of mind. It is not tangible, it cannot be held, it can only be felt. Read more

Most individuals attributes the source of their happiness to situations, moments, or people. This is the cause of depression, because one has surrendered the source of their happiness to external forces, and feels unhappiness when it is not attained.

Does being responsible for your own happiness means total detachment?

Well, it depends on what you mean by detachment. If anything it helps one connect better, understand better, and stay present. For example: in a relationship, it gives one the understanding that, it’s not someone else’s job to make you happy. It’s yours.

The truth is, external forces or experience may play a role in influencing one’s happiness, but true happiness comes from within. You can’t control every situation, but you at least control how you react towards them.

Attributing happiness to external things is like dependent on drugs for a dopamine hit. Sooner or later one might need a larger dose of that to achieve same excitement. True happiness is mindfulness, true happiness is discipline, true happiness is self control, true happiness is responsibility, true happiness is self care, true happiness is self respect, true happiness is virtue.

©️Victor E. Ojei, 2025.

22 thoughts on “Happiness Comes from Within, It’s Your Job, Not Someone Else’s.”

  1. What hits me about happiness is a feeling not something someone can do for you, from my own experience, I’ve learned to own my emotions. I can take any circumstance and choose to feel happy. Even during lessons in humility lol. Even during circumstances that make you reevaluate life, like the loss of someone’s love. Gratitude can transform anything, and create happiness in unusual places, especially if you learn to do it intentionally.

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    • Thank you, this is lovely. Happiness is indeed a state of mind. In as much as some circumstance could cause real heartbreak, like the loss of a loved one, gratitude helps one stay present. This doesn’t mean total detachment from the plights of real life crisis, but gives one a better emotional management skill, discipline, and accountability.

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      • Exactly. Like you said, I’m fully aware of crises, not detached, just choosing how to respond, accountable for my contributions,l to the situation, but hey there’s no reason to allow myself to be upset, when nothing can be done to change the past. Changing the present, and preparing for the future, is all we can do.

        God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
        Courage to change the things I can,
        And the wisdom to know the difference.
        Thank you.

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  5. So true—happiness isn’t a delivery service or a gift from someone else. It’s something we cultivate ourselves, from the inside out. Every gentle step toward awareness—notice, clarity, stillness—plants the seeds of joy. Sometimes the whisper of presence does more than any external cheer.

    Your post resonated with one of my recent reflections: Happiness: Confidence Now, Faith Later. Different words, same current flowing. 🌿✨

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      • Thank you, Victor 🙏🏾 — I’d be glad to share. In Pleasure as Intelligence I explore how happiness isn’t just an inner job but an inner capacity: a tuning toward coherence that no one else can hand us. Others may amplify or dampen it, but the seed and the work are ours. Your reminder that happiness isn’t a delivery service resonates perfectly with that. For you, what practices most reliably bring you back to that inner source?

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      • I get what you mean. But the truth is, I know that intelligence doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. Genuine happiness comes from a place of trusting: not in external forces, like circumstances, or people, but within.
        I guess it’s why I requested for you to give an insight with reference to the title of your said article, because I know their’s no genuine happiness without faith.
        So Faith first, confidence later.

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      • Yes, Victor — faith is the soil, and from it hope and confidence grow. In Happiness: Confidence and Hope I explored how happiness isn’t something handed to us, but something cultivated when trust, confidence, and hope align. Faith steadies us first, hope keeps us moving, and confidence is the lived expression of that trust in action.

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