When They Throw Stones, Build With Them

/ Victor Ojei

One thing life has taught me is; “people will talk.” Some will criticize your choices, your pace, your mistakes, even your silence. It doesn’t matter what you do, people will antagonize you for being flawless; even more so when you’re. If you wait for approval before you move, you will never move at all. Here is a harder truth that is also freeing: not every stone thrown at you is meant to stop you. Some of them are materials.

This is not about pretending criticism does not hurt. It does. Words land. Opinions stick. Rejection can sit heavy in the chest. But pain does not automatically mean poison. Sometimes it is pressure shaping you into something stronger.

Stones Are Inevitable

If you are doing anything visible, meaningful, or new, stones will come. Growth attracts attention, and attention attracts judgment. Even staying in one place can attract stones. People project their fears, regrets, and disappointments. Some stones come from strangers. Some come from people you love. That is usually the hardest part.

Trying to avoid stones is a losing strategy. You would have to shrink your life to do that. And shrinking your life is a high price to pay for silence.

Not Every Stone Deserves a Response

One mistake many people make is trying to answer every stone with a speech. You do not need to. Silence is not weakness. It is often clarity. Some criticism is not asking for dialogue. It is asking for attention.

Discernment matters. Ask a simple question: Is this stone carrying truth I can use, or noise I should drop? If there is truth, pick it up. If it is noise, leave it on the ground. You do not owe everyone a reply.

Build, Do Not Bleed

The goal is not to become numb. The goal is to become wise. Use what hurts to refine how you move, not to harden your heart. The same stone that wounds you can also strengthen your foundation if you choose to work with it.

Failure can teach discipline. Criticism can sharpen focus. Rejection can redirect you to where you actually belong. Many people you admire today were shaped in seasons where nothing came easy and no one clapped.

They did not stop the stones. They learned what to do with them.

Growth Often Looks Like Resistance

If everything around you agrees with you, you may not be growing. Resistance is not always a sign you are wrong. Sometimes it is proof you are changing lanes, breaking patterns, or stepping out of something comfortable.

This does not mean every hard thing is good. It means every hard thing can be useful. There is a difference.

Keep Building

You do not need to announce your progress. Let your work speak. Let consistency answer questions you are tired of explaining. Over time, people notice. Some will stop throwing stones. Some will not. Either way, you keep building.

One day, someone will stand where you stood and wonder how you made it through all that noise. They may not know the full story, but you will. You used the stones.

So let them throw stones. Just make sure you are not standing still. Pick up what you can use. Drop what you cannot. And keep building what matters.

©️Victor E. Ojei, 2025.

17 thoughts on “When They Throw Stones, Build With Them”

    • Well, the truth is when it comes to criticism, intentions matters. However, whatever the intent, how one reacts to criticism matters more. The key is to know when, and when not to react. As well as how to react.
      No one is absolutely perfect when it comes to handling these stuffs; so as long as you’re trying, I think you’re doing just fine.

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  5. I love this! It really hits home for me and I needed to read it. Thank you! And also I want to take the time to say thank you so much for liking my stuff.. you have been with me from the beginning of my blog and you always read and like my stuff and I am taking the time today to let you know that it means the world to me! I have wanted to write since I was 11 years old .. at 11 I wrote my first poem “Tears of pain” and unfortunately I don’t have it or remember every word but i remember a small insert ( if I drowned with in the night, you will know I was wishing with all of my might! And if I wake in the morning I guess I had no real warning. A sleep or awake it is always the same I have these tears, my tears , my tears of pain! ) i remember how it felt when I had put to paper my feelings and thoughts and it helped me. I have struggled my whole life with something or someone and I have let it hold me back and shape me in ways I could have prevented… I came here to say thank you for your support but then I read this and I want to also say thank you for reminding me that sticks and stones can brake us or make us depending on how you use what is thrown at you!!! Again thank you! 🙏 ❤️🌺🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿
    with love, herbmommy!

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