Most individuals believe that they have high emotional intelligence, when in fact they are simply highly emotional. Thoughts provoking right? Yeah, you should think about it.

The difference between the two, lies in how emotions are experienced and managed. Allow me to break it down for you:

Being Emotional

Being emotional means intensely experiencing and expressing emotions. It often implies a heightened sensitivity to emotional stimuli, resulting in strong reactions to situations. It often refers to someone who reacts strongly to situations with visible displays of feelings, whether positive or negative.

The focus of being emotional is primarily on the intensity of emotional experience or expression:

• One who is being emotional react rather than being proactive in emotional responses.
• In that state individuals may struggle to regulate emotions.
• Can most definitely lead to impulsive behavior or decisions driven by feelings.

Having Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.

The focus is in balancing emotional awareness with thoughtful management of emotions to foster better relationships and decisions:

• Such an individual is self-aware, recognizing emotions and their effects.
• Such an individual is skilled in self-regulation, thereby managing emotional reactions appropriately.
• Empathy is also a key characteristic, because as a result of their emotional intelligence such an individual could understand and respond to the emotions of others. Unlike being simply emotional, which is mostly being selfish.
• Social skills: Building and maintaining positive interpersonal relationships.
• They use emotions constructively to achieve goals.

Key Difference Between the Two

Being emotional often centers on the intensity of feelings and their spontaneous expression, whereas emotional intelligence involves the skillful handling of emotions in oneself and in interactions with others.

The truth is most individuals believe they are highly emotionally intelligent, whereas in reality they are simply highly emotional. They evade accountability for their irrational behaviors, actions, or reactions, by hiding under the umbrella of “having emotional intelligence”. But in reality, all they care about is simply themselves, because emotional intelligence is not selfish. It is empathetic, and empathy is selfless.

So when next the matters of emotional intelligence is brought up, perhaps you might want to consider making a rational evaluation, not an emotional one.

©️Victor E. Ojei, 2025.